Google ad: ‘Cults — Browse a huge selection now’

In Google ads, sometimes a keyword — any keyword — from a given Web page will be automatically plugged into an advertisement. Here are two cells from a Google ad I saw today, copied from a page with anti-cult information:   

Cults Browse a huge selection now. Find exactly what you want today. www.eBay.com

Cult Everything to do with Cult items. shopping.yahoo.com

NCAA basketball and the book of Ecclesiastes

I was shooting baskets in the driveway when the ball went half way into the hoop and bounced three or four times within the rim before popping out. No bucket.

That made me wonder about the reliability of preparation, despite my belief that one must always prepare.

It seemed preparation is an essential part of what is necessary to succeed.

Yet only part.

The wise man in Ecclesiastes said “speed does not win the race nor strength the battle…time and chance govern all” (New English Bible).

Time and chance are inevitable factors in the NCAA tournament.

Bet accordingly.

-Colin Foote Burch

My daughter’s new t-shirt

 

Have you seen our parent site? Check out LiturgicalCredo.com.

Philosopher v. philosopher — but what’s the real issue?

This is a funny, and true, story about two contemporary philosophers who apparently have it in for each other. Read it here: http://orgtheory.wordpress.com/2007/12/30/when-philosophers-attack/

How a politician can defend Mormon beliefs

This is an admittedly silly parody of Mitt Romney’s recent speech defending his Mormon faith, and probably not for anyone who demands his humor to be sophisticated. Read “What Mitt Romney Should have said.”

Conferences that conjure power, or, man-made ways to make God talk

I found this on the Web site of a prophetic ministry. Can you discern the heretical doctrines and general nuttiness within this promotional note for an upcoming conference?

There seems to be a remarkable new spiritual energy being released in our conferences. Everyone on our staff, as well as many who have been attending our conferences for years, seem to all think that our recent Harvest and Worship & Warfare Conferences were the best we’ve ever had. Overall, I think so too, but there was also a great spiritual momentum that I have honestly not felt anything like in over a decade. Already you can feel the spiritual energy building for our New Year’s Conference in which we seek the Lord for prophetic words for the coming year. In the past, we have received some that were remarkable. These are obviously crucial times, and we are going to need to have increasingly clear and accurate guidance for them. There is also a great spiritual momentum building, and if you are planning to join us for this conference, please register and reserve your rooms at Heritage as soon as possible, as space is limited and we are expecting this conference to fill up quickly.

Problems with the above promo:

1. How frequently did Biblical prophets hold conferences so they could hear from the Lord? And, conversely, how frequently did the Lord decide to talk to prophets at times the prophets had not previously scheduled? The suggestion is that we, or at least the right sages, can make God talk.

2. How does the Lord’s work depend on “spiritual momentum?” Does God need a running start to accomplish certain things? God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. No build-up required. No straining involved.

3. “Already you can feel the spiritual energy building for our New Year’s Conference in which we seek the Lord for prophetic words for the coming year.” First, see #2 above. Second, since when does God operate on the calendar year?

4. “There is also a great spiritual momentum building, and if you are planning to join us for this conference, please register and reserve your rooms…as soon as possible.” The word “and” sticks out here. Being a conjunction, the word “and” tends to connect related ideas. Perhaps, then, one could conclude that the “spiritual momentum” announced in the first part of this compound sentence is intended to encourage the registrations and reservations requested in the second part. Following the above italicized excerpt, a link to the confence Web site notes that registration for the conference is $50 each for adults and children. The price is a gamble on the possiblity that “some” of the prophecy this year will be “remarkable.”

Like so many ministries that claim special supernatural giftings, this ministry depends on its followers accepting the assumption that critical thinking will hinder the work of God. Thus, they open themselves up to nebulous, vapid, un-Biblical beliefs merely because those beliefs are presented with conviction. Yet the mind, like the heart, was created for humans to use.

-Colin Foote Burch

Reformation Polka!

Hey folks, it’s Reformation Day!

That’s right – Martin Luther nailed his 95 Theses to the Wittenburg church door on Oct. 31, 1517.

Long before Hallmark and Hersheys turned subsequent October Thirty-Firsts into something about black cats and pumpkins.

Long after it was acceptable to sacrifice people in celebration of Samhain.

Why not celebrate with this polka:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WU0f_qJLkLg 

Scripture Rewrites for Our Times, No. 2

Today’s Scripture Rewrite for Our Times originates in the Gospel of Matthew chapter 5, verse 20.

“Unless your political incorrectness exceeds that of David Duke and Warren Jeffs, there is no way you will be invited to speak at Columbia University.”

Scripture Rewrites for Our Times

Today’s inaugural installment of Scripture Rewrites for Our Times originates in The Gospel of Matthew, chapter 22, verse 37:

“Love the Lord your God with all your genetic predispositions, all your biochemical imbalances, and your entire Meyers-Briggs assessment.”

Conferences to be like Pentecost!

We found this howler at MorningStar Fellowship Church’s Web site. It’s near the end of the “Word for the Week” (www.eaglestar.org/feature/wftw/index.htm) for July 30, 2007:

Make plans now to attend one or both of our most important conferences of the year—the Harvest Conference (Sept. 27-29) and the Worship & Warfare Conference (Oct.1-3). These conferences are attended by Christians from many nations and denominations. We hold them back to back because there is a dynamic and spiritual momentum created that seems to draw the Lord in a special way. It was at a gathering like this that the Holy Spirit was first poured out on the Day of Pentecost.

Did you catch that new ministry technique? You can summon the Lord by holding conferences back to back.

Unfortunately, with the phrase “at a gathering like this,” the Word for the Week does not make it clear which conference will be most like Pentecost, nor does it explain what it is about these conferences that makes them similar to a first-century gathering of Apostles.