Today, Pastor Mark Driscoll announced he will be taking a six-week break from leadership at Mars Hill Church.
Thus, staffers, pastors, and elders have been provided, temporarily, with a bully-free environment.
But, as Driscoll has noted before, he is the brand, so who knows if the church, or God, can survive without him.
Heaven’s press officer, noting the Almighty’s long-standing bias toward Western Christianity, said The Lord will not be commenting on Driscoll today because this is his (relatively new) day of rest.
The press officer added that ever since America invented armed drones, God delegates the smiting of brown people during His nap times and vacations.