Tag Archives: Colin Foote Burch


Hey, I didn’t make up this place. I was just born here.

Plumbers are smarter than I am, and so are pastors

Plumbers make more money than university lecturers. So do pastors.

Americans have some tendencies to equate income with intelligence.

There are outliers who make money by going for the sensational and the glandular, like Miley Cyrus.

As a university lecturer, I might as well have the belief system of a pastor.

Worthwhile knowledge, its retention, and its real-world impacts are nebulous things, terribly hard to quantify. Outcomes are easily attributable to other factors.

Which is why people don’t ultimately accept “knowledge is power,” and why they remain skeptical of the value of education. The monkey with the shiniest toys didn’t necessarily excel in school, and that common observation places a little wrinkle somewhere in the brain.

In the U.S., the annual mean wage paid to clergy is $47,730.

At large churches, however, where they have “executive” positions, which help establish egos and golf club memberships, compensation is at least $110,000.

At other churches, senior pastors (first among equals, some being more equal than others) earn between $265,000 and $1.1 million.

The average U.S. income for individuals is $40,563, and the average family income is $82,843.

The annual mean wage for plumbers is $53,240.

As a university lecturer, I often deal with material similar to what plumbers have to deal with: clogs, stagnation, rust, and excrement.

Only the material I’m exposed to is metaphorically clogged up, stagnated, rusted, or just plain shit.

One thing is for certain. Pastors have a unique position. If your job involves prodding and provoking vulnerable hearts, your income has a shot at being slightly above average.

Move hearts and you’ll change wallets, whether you’re Miley Cyrus or an Executive Pastor.

By the way, everyone should be disgusted by the title Executive Pastor, except no one is, because churches are marketed and operated precisely like organizations designed to make money: corporations.

Some ancient fool said you cannot serve both God and money. Good thing we have plenty of Executive Pastors to straighten Him out.

‘We can’t argue with personal experience’

An excerpt from the recent Strange Days column:

“I’m sure this woman believes she is in touch with God when she speaks in tongues, and I’m sure she feels righteous in dismissing science. I’m not going to judge her faith or religious practice. I probably won’t ever have to converse with her or occupy the same space as her. Right now, somewhere else in the world, someone is rubbing a rabbit’s foot or reading a horoscope or begging a dead relative for rain — and these activities are equally meaningless to me and my obligations to my community and my family today.”

Read all of “See me, feel me.”

Better stand up!

A major – and I mean, huge – Australian study found that people who spend 11 hours each day sitting are 40 percent more likely to die during the next three years.

I don’t know about you, but I just stood up.

Read all of “Stand up — or die!

Ron Paul wins Coolest Endorsement List

The award for Coolest Endorsement List, however, goes to Ron Paul, who after Tuesday’s primaries in three states has only 66 delegates and a snowball’s chance in Haiti of becoming the Republican nominee.

Who cares? Paul’s libertarian message has drawn the support of freakin’ Snoop Dogg (second only to Chuck Norris), Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry, rapper Prodigy, Michelle Branch, and Kelly Clarkson.

Read all of It’s hip to be square, again — or Republican, again: GOP candidates get surprising endorsements.

‘Living in the Era of Control Freaks’ — smoking in bars and tax-free candy

From my latest Strange Days column:

“You know the type — Enlightened Ones who believe they can make the world a better place by meddling in other people’s lives.

“Sure, they have good intentions. Shoot, they might even have great intentions.

“But their means just don’t make sense, and God save us from the outcomes.

“Think I’m kidding? Consider a few things the control freaks have been up to lately…”

Read it all here.

‘Please don’t change the world’

“The more appealing a leader is, the more likely he’ll be crazy.” And our candidates want to be our leaders, and they say they want to change the world. Get the full picture here.