An edited version of this item, from my Beerman column, appears in the current Weekly Surge, a free newspaper distributed in the Myrtle Beach area:
I was staying at a Baptist conference center the night before my PBR article was due.
I’m always racking up the frequent-guest points at Baptist conference centers, and cashing them in for sweet tea and potato salad.
I was there because my wife had gone the center’s accompanying girls’ camp during her growing-up years, and now my daughters are carrying on the tradition.
Don’t get me wrong – it’s a great camp, and the conference center’s room were cleaner than most hotel rooms. I guess working for cranky tourists is a little less motivating than working for the Almighty.
Anyway, I had to do a little PBR-related research to do, so I went online. The Google search returned the results, and I clicked.
Suddenly, a note popped up on the screen: the site was banned, for it fell within the “Alcohol/Tobacco Category.”
I knew I couldn’t bring any alcohol or tobacco – I was really proud of myself for not smuggling any in – but I couldn’t even read about it?
Wouldn’t it count as opposition research?
That’s why I’m an Episcopalian. Our little-known motto is, “The Protestants Who Drink.” Our Jesus turned water into wine, not Welch’s Grape Juice.